Is ‘pulling out’ safe?

Question

My partner and I use the ‘pulling out’ methods – which I believe is also known as ‘withdrawal’.

How safe is the withdrawal method ?

Also, on which days should we avoid sex if we are not using any form of contraception?

Answer

Well, the fact is that most family planning experts advise patients against the withdrawal method – also known as coitus interruptus.

But personally, I feel that it’s better than taking no precautions at all! But because your partner’s ‘pre-come’ is likely to contain sperms, you might well get pregnant.

Now you also ask about the natural family planning (fertility awareness) or rhythm method – ie making love on ‘safe days’ of the month. Trying to avoid pregnancy this way is very dodgy indeed! If you really want to have a go at this ‘safe period’ or ‘rhythm method’ of contraception, you should go along to a natural family planning clinic where they can teach you the most up-to-date and scientific way of using this technique.

For more information about pulling out alternatives:

contraceptive methods

Good luck.

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP

What can I do about my

‘stretched’ vagina?

Question

ever since the birth of my last child 13 years ago, I have been unable to feel a man’s penis inside me. Even when I have smear tests they don’t hurt.

My vagina seems to have stretched and it is affecting my love life. I have tried pelvic exercises but they don’t seem to have helped.

Answer

You usually have to do exercises for at least six months – under the supervision of a professional, such as a physiotherapist – to produce any great improvement in vaginal tone.

But really, it sounds as though you now need to see a gynaecologist. Please discuss with her whether a ‘tightening up’ operation is necessary.

Good luck!

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP

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For women:

is your vagina or vulva too big –

or too small?

Written by Dr David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist

Worries about vaginal and vulval size are extremely common among women.

This is scarcely surprising, because a woman’s feelings about her own vagina and vulva are central to her sexuality.

If you are concerned about your own vagina or vulva, please don’t hesitate to consult a doctor and get yourself examined.

Quite a few women who write to us say that they’re not happy to consult their own GPs about this subject.

In the UK, a very useful alternative is your local family planning clinic. These clinics are staffed by (mainly) female doctors who are skilled in vaginal examination – and who carry out dozens of such examinations each week. They are also used to dealing with worries about ‘dimensions’. So they can rapidly give you an expert opinion about the size of your vagina or vulva.

Are you too big?

If you’ve never had children, it’s almost unthinkable that your vagina or vulva is too big.

Unfortunately, there’s a very common myth in some parts of Britain – a myth to the effect that a woman who has lots of sex will get a large vagina. This is just nonsense! No matter how much sex you have, it won’t affect your vaginal or vulval size.

But what does affect your dimensions is childbirth. Unfortunately, the more babies you have, the more likely your vagina is to become widened. This is due to damage to the muscles and other supporting tissues of the vaginal walls. It’s more common after difficult and prolonged labours. It can often be prevented by very determined use of the postnatal exercises that midwives and physiotherapists teach.

What happens if your vagina or vulva

really is too big?

Let’s look at the vagina (ie the interior) first.

If your vaginal ‘barrel’ is excessively big, so that you are ‘slack’, this can have the following effects:

• intercourse may be less satisfactory for you.
• intercourse may be less satisfying for your partner.
• you may be more liable to experience the phenomenon of air getting into (and out of) the vagina – a phenomenon known in some parts of the country as ‘fanny farting’.
• bath water may get into your vagina – though this isn’t likely to be a health problem.
• much more seriously, lax muscles and ligaments around the vagina may lead to prolapse (descent of the womb and other organs) in middle age or later life.

What can be done about a slack vagina?

If your vagina is overly large and slack, the possible courses of action are as follows.

• Urgently set about tightening up your vagina by doing pelvic floor muscle exercises. Any midwife, nurse, physiotherapist, or doctor can teach you to do them. However, you’ll need to do them intensively for six months in order to get much improvement. To get you started, try this:
  1. tighten up the muscles at the front of the lower part of your body – as if you were trying hard to stop yourself peeing.
  2. hold this contraction for 10 seconds.
  3. relax for 10 seconds.
  4. contract again for 10 seconds.
  5. continue to contract and relax like this for a full five minutes.
  6. repeat four times daily.
• You could also buy a vaginal muscle developer. However, these are expensive – about £75 to £200 – and you do have to work at them for quite a while to get any improvement. They’re now readily available through sex shops and the new mail-order organisations which sell sexual devices to women.
• Go to a gynaecologist (in the UK you’ll usually need a GP’s referral letter first) to discuss the possibility of a ‘repair’ operation. This draws the weakened pelvic tissues together and firms everything up.
• Finally, please note that as a temporary expedient, a woman whose vagina has become too big can improve the quality of intercourse (for herself and her partner) by simply popping a small vibrator inside during intercourse. This may sound surprising, but in fact, if you have had several children and become quite loose, there may well be plenty of room for both a small vibrator and a penis inside you – thus giving a much snugger fit.

What if you feel your vulva is too large?

A lot of women are desperately worried about the appearance of their vulvas – feeling that they are ‘too large’ or that the labia are ‘too long’, or that bits of it protrude unequally. (Sometimes they are influenced in these views by having seen misleading pornographic magazines or videos – in which the ‘heroine’s’ vulva appears impossibly neat and tidy!)

If that applies to you, my advice is to go to a Family Planning Clinic – because the women doctors there are dealing with this sort of worry all the time.

Very often, they’ll be able to reassure you that you are in fact normal.

But if there really is an abnormality, it can be corrected by surgery – carried out by either a gynaecologist or a plastic surgeon. Since the beginning of this century, such operations have become increasingly common; however, a high proportion of them are performed privately, rather than on the NHS. However, some National Health gynaecologists are willing to shorten the labia of women who are distressed by an irregular appearance.

What if you think that you’re too small?

Alternatively, do you think that you are ‘built’ too small?

I have to tell you that statistically this is most unlikely. Vast numbers of patients think that they are excessively small, but only once in a blue moon are they actually right.

The symptoms that make them feel that they are unusually small include:

• pain on intercourse
• inability to have sex at all
• inability to insert a tampon.

But the vast majority of women who complain of these problems do eventually turn out to be normal-sized. Nearly always, they are suffering from a degree of vaginismus – the common condition that makes the vaginal muscles contract whenever any approach is made to the genitals.

To find out if your vagina really is too small, you should have an internal examination by an experienced doctor who is good at putting patients at their ease.

The obvious place to go for this is a Family Planning Clinic – especially as the staff are mainly female. Indeed, many of the doctors and nurses have been specifically trained in dealing with this particular problem.

In the unlikely event that your vagina really does turn out to be too small, it is possible for a skilled gynaecologist to enlarge it surgically for you.

However, I must stress that in 30 years of practising sexual medicine, I have yet to see a patient who actually needed this operation.

There are several benefits for a woman to exercise her vagina:

This will…

• …make it easier for you to reach orgasm.
• …make your orgasms stronger/better as the muscles you’re exercising are the same as used during orgasm.
• …make your vagina more sensitive(you’ll feel more). When squeezing you’ll feel your partner much better inside. It will simply heighten your sexual satisfaction.
• …prevent prolapse and incontinence.
• …make childbirth easier and your muscles will regain more quickly after the birth.
• - For your boyfriend it will be a tremendous difference. You will get tighter. You can pull and squeeze your partner’s penis.
• - You don’t have to be nervous the first time you make love with a new partner, wondering what he will think of you as a sexual partner. You’ll have better sexual self-confidence. You’ll know that your present/future boyfriend/husband/lover won’t be disappointed.
• - Men prefer women with a strong vagina (to many men it’s more important that his lover has a strong vagina than having a perfect body). In some cultures women exercise their vaginal strength in order to help them keep their future/present husband.
• - You can be proud of your vaginal strength(just like one can be proud of one’s body).
• - The woman will get more control in bed. Many women enjoy that and think it’s fun.

Note: It’s important to continue to exercise and maintain the strength of the muscles as you grow older. At menopause, muscles may change and weaken. The stronger they are before this process begins, the better.

Vaginal

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Spot the Hoo-Hoo:

Vagina Imagery In Advertising

by J. Barker

Vagina Image # 1: Suva

Porn for Terminators and Robocop

Okay, I understand that this ad is trying to make the top of the helmet look like the scary mask from the Scream movies.  And it succeeds.  It also succeeds in looking like a robot’s vagina.

Vagina Image # 2: Playboy

Yeah, big surprise.  Playboy Magazine.  Of course they’re not remotely trying to hide what their product is.

I find this ad quite clever in showing the way that hair styles have changed over the past three decades…

Vagina Image # 3: Tara Magazine

Vagina Image # 4: Anti-Rape Ad

My Spanish is insanely rusty (I remember how to say, “My pencil is yellow,” though I can’t remember how to write it…), but I think this is a “stop the violence/rape” ad from the  USAID, Red Nacional de Mujeres, and Union Europea.

If so, it works.  The image is evocative of something being ripped and torn, though why they chose the metallic color scheme is odd.  I could make a joke concerning Image # 1, but even I’m not that callous.

Vagina Image # 5: Energizer

The whole idea of this is to show how long Energizer batteries last.  If I recall, this brand wasn’t even around when batteries were that cheap.

It took me a moment to understand the gist of the ad; I was too distracted by the blatant “subliminal” use of the Hoo-Hoo.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never torn open a pack of batteries and left that shape.  Ever.

Vagina Image # 6: Act Up Paris

I think I dated her once…

Hmmm… What’s missing here?  I guess genetically engineering women with no Hoo-Hoo would be one solution to reducing the spread of AIDS.  A little extreme, perhaps?  Yeah.  I think so, too.

Vagina Image # 7: Dior

Um… yeah.  I dunno where to go here…  I’m even a little uncomfortable…

Vagina Image # 8: Lactacyd

Okay, so in this case we, the viewer, are the vagina.  Whoever came up with the idea to shoot a commercial for feminine hygiene products from the point-of-view of the Hoo-Hoo itself deserves an award.

Vagina Image # 9: Children of Chernobyl

This ad is designed to raise awareness for prenatal health control.  While I find it absolutely beautiful both in execution and design, I don’t quite understand the context.  We all know about what happened in the Chernobyl area after the nuclear accident.  But what does an apple-vagina have to do with it?

Perhaps some meta-text concerning how “the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree,” so move the hell away from Chernobyl?  Or a Christian reference to Eve and the Apple?  Or recommendations on what I should pick up at the market tomorrow?

I’m confused.

Vagina Image # 10: Pro-Choice/Anti-Abortion

C’mon, little fella. We won’t bite.

You can’t get more blatant than this.  Well, okay.  After some of the other ads above, maybe you can.

At least it doesn’t cross that line that some anti-abortion campaigns love to tinker with.  You know, the ones with the potentially crazy old lady carrying around a stick with bloodied baby limbs dangling from it?  If you’ve never seen that, you’re in for a treat.  They usually hang out downtown near the library.

I rather like this ad – though I’m not sure I like the sinister look on the kid’s face…

SOURCE: Ads of the World

John Barker
Clever Ads, Promotions and Marketing
InventorSpot.com

What’s That About A Powerful Vagina?

Megan Fox, a favorite of ours around here, set, er, tongues wagging about her quote for Rolling Stone magazine about her “powerful vagina.” The comment was in context of Fox talking about how she learned to “harness her sexuality” which we now bring to you in full:

“What you do is harness your sexuality and use it to control your destiny…That’s what can can happen when a girl or woman is completely in charge of her sexuality and embraces the power of her vagina. It intimidates men – not all, but some. Men are scared of vaginas. And then when you give them a powerful, confident vagina, they’re terrified.”

That ethos is clearly on display in Fox’s new movie, Jennifer’s Body, in which a nubile high schooler transforms into a bloodthirsty vampire who lures in young boys through the power of her sexuality (read: vagina) and then KILLS THEM DEAD. As The Awl’s Melissa Lafsky writes in her excellent review:

Megan Fox’s body is, inherently, evil. She’s the Demon Pretty. That much Pretty has power over all of us—young, old, black, white, female and panting male alike. We’re helpless in the face of it. We pay it more money, give it better customer service, offer it more respect at dinner parties. Studies have proven it: that level of Pretty controls our minds. So of course it should show up as a murderous demon in a horror film.

It’s no wonder that men are scared of vaginas — particularly powerful, confident ones that will totally EAT YOU FOR LUNCH. The concept of that kind of hungry, voracious vagina is, of course, nothing new (hi, Sigmund Freud!) and it even has a fancy name: Vagina Dentata. It literally means “toothed vagina” (ouch!) and was the premise of the horror movie Teeth, which Lafsky succinctly describes as “teen loses control of the sexual beast within” – the poor protagonist has something quite literally monstrous lurking within her nether regions, which turns out rather unfortunately for several men in the film. Ah, horror. You’re so classy.

And speaking of classy: Apparently Top Shop seems to think that translates into a great fashion idea. Because I was walking by on Friday night, and lo and behold front at center was this fabulous fashion creation:

That’s, er, anatomically pretty on point. Though I think it would be way more badass with the mouth of a Great White Shark or something — what’s that, a bear? Those teeth aren’t even serrated, for God’s sake. Weak.

Anyhow, my point — and I do have one, and it’s not just to make “Hakuna Dentata” jokes (read your tags, mofos!) — my point is, as usual, that Megan Fox is a thought-leader and our coverage of her is totally, completely justified.

That’s all. In other news, boys…I’m available. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Update: Actually, that’s not it — here is the full, unabridged, 2-paragraph excerpt from Rolling Stone, so no one can say this post isn’t useful. Call it…cervix journalism. Haaaa. Oh come on, admit it, that’s a good one. Here’s the full quote:

“I was 12 when I first started getting a lot of stares and attention from grown men, and for a while I misused that power,” she says. “When you see 16-year-old girls in really short skirts and stripper heels and shirts that say WHITE TRASH WHORE on them – I was like that. But it’s not empowering. It’s the opposite. It’s taking power away from you. I was like Jennifer in the movie. She’s just so lost in her sexuality. What you do is harness your sexuality and use it to control your destiny. Like, if a conversation with a guy is going somewhere I don’t like, you can manipulate it and build a dynamic that causes that person to fear you sexually. You do it with men by making them feel small, and men usually feel small when they’re attracted to someone.”

“…And that’s what can happen when a girl or woman is completely in charge of her sexuality and embraces the power of her vagina. It intimidates men – not all, but some. Men are scared of vaginas. And then when you give them a powerful, confident vagina, they’re terrified. They don’t know how to deal with it. Look, I didn’t figure out something special out here. I wasn’t born with a special vagina. All vaginas are created equal. But as soon as you love your own, you’re good. You’re set.”

Unless you’re deaf and blind and terrified of the television, you’ve been made adequately aware of the prostitution ring scandal in which former New York governor Eliot Spitzer was embroiled this week. I say former New York governor, because as all you non-blind deaf television-phobes know, The Ass Bandit resigned yesterday. God knows the citizens of New York don’t want some jackass willing to drop eighty grand on pussy overseeing the state’s 2008 budget! (”Now, I see the ‘public education’ and ‘labor and workforce development’ allocations here, but where are the funds for the ’super hot pussy?’ Did I miss it?”) Anyway, what we’ve all been wanting to know — who was this mystery hooker “Kristen,” and what the hell could she possibly be doing that costs $4700 a night? Page Six reveals

Her real name is Ashley Alexandra Dupré, and according to her MySpace profile, she loves music and she looks up to her brother. The… 22-year-old singer fled “an abusive home” at the age of 17. In 2004 she arrived in New York City, where she says she spent two years trying to make it in the music biz.

“I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music,” the woman known as “Kristen” says on her MySpace profile. “I can honestly tell you to never dwell on the past, but build from it and keep moving forward,” she writes. She describes her song “What We Want” as being “about trust, something my past has made very difficult for me to feel,” and that it was “inspired by a guy, who taught me not to confuse my dreams with the sounds of the city.”

And just like that, I can guaran-damn-tee this dumb twat’s song will get radio play. After it makes the rounds on the gossip blogs and network television first, of course. Followed by several morning show interviews, a tell-all book, her own makeup and/or clothing line and possible made-for-TV movie. Because all it takes to break into the elite strata of celebritydom in these great United States is to suck off somebody rich or famous and get caught doing it. Even better if you make a tape of yourself doing it so you can sell it online and really saturate the market. Some people might try to tell you that diversifying your funds or investing overseas is the best way to secure your financial future, but I’m here to tell you your ticket to early retirement is actually hidden is some old white dude’s pants. The path to financial freedom is only a zipper away!

Feed the monkey and listen to her shitty song at Page Six or visit her MySpace here.