Vaginoplasty surgery is performed to tighten vaginal muscles when they have become lax and stretched after childbirth or due to age. Let nothing stop you from enjoying a complete sex life.

What does

vaginal rejuvenation (vaginoplasty) surgery do?

It tightens vaginal muscles that have become lax and stretched after childbirths or due to age. A vagina that has lost its tightness may give rise to situations that for many women are embarrassing, since it cannot hold the partner’s penis inside as it used to.
When the vagina is tightened, the friction during intercourse increases, enhancing both the woman’s and her partner’s pleasure.
It is a valid alternative for women who had not tried any other method, as well as for women who have tried Kegel exercises and found them unsatisfactory.
It can be performed in women of any age.

Vaginoplasty Surgery: The Results

Thanks to this procedure you will feel a more intense pleasure and your lost self-confidence will be restored. The vagina’s increased tightness will be more appealing to your partner as well. You will experience again sensations you used to have in the past and that you thought were lost forever.

Vagisil unveils new “Home Vaginal Stink Meter Kit”

Vagisil introduced it’s new “Home Vaginal Stink Meter Kit”, it was reported Wednesday.

“This is really an innovation in home vaginal stink detection,” Vagisil Rep. Rebecca Gosch said during a phone interview.

“Vagina odor detection has rocketed into the 21st century with our new product. We here at Vagisil are thrilled!”

The new Home Vaginal Stink Meter Kit works by swabbing the inside of your vagina with a specially coated “stink stick”. After 3 minutes your level of vaginal odor can be matched to a color chart that corresponds to your stink level.

“I swore I could smell a dirty sock,” claimed one user, “but boy was I surprised when the stink meter told me I was closer to anhydrous ammonia.”

Ms. Gosch ended the phone interview by stating, “Man dreamed of flight once… And watched it come true. Man dreamed of a device that; when powered up, could provide light to light up our houses and cities, and yes; man dreamed of one day, being able to stick a sharp plastic applicator – up your vagina – pull it out and wait a few minutes – and then compare the color on the applicator to a pre-printed color chart – to tell how bad your vagina odor was.”

What Makes Hair Removal on the Vagina Different?

Hair removal along the bikini line or above the vagina is different from removing hair along the sides of the vagina. This is because the area surrounding the vagina has uneven surfaces due to the position of your clitoris, labia and the general opening of the vagina. Any sharp object used to remove hair in this region would be dangerous because it may cause cuts very easily. You want to avoid cuts in this area in case they get infected and you don’t want to be in a position to visit a doctor because you have an infected vagina as it would be very embarrassing indeed.

Should You Use Razors to Remove Vaginal Hair?

Traditional razor blades and electric razors that were not designed for the pubic region are unsuitable for removing vaginal hair. They cannot provide you with a close shave, may lead to cuts and even ingrown pubic hair. That is why I do not recommend using leg shavers, facial shavers and other non-pubic region specific shavers to remove pubic hair. If you are willing to endure the pain of bikini waxing, you may use that as a means to remove the pubic hair around your vagina.

Choosing the Right Tools For Vagina Hair Removal

However, what I personally use and recommend is a simple pair of tweezers to pluck out any strands of hair on your genitals and the Body Bareshaver to finish the job. I believe this is an excellent combination for anyone who wants to shave their vaginas. It will provide you with smooth and sexy results and you will not have to experience the annoying vagina bumps that other methods may leave you with. You can do this in the privacy of your own home at the fraction of the cost compared to other hair removal methods.

Speaking on Behalf of the Vagina

By April Short
City on a Hill Press Editor

If your vagina could talk, what would it say?

This was one of many questions posed at a run-through of “The Vagina Monologues,” a benefit presentation that will play this weekend in the Porter Dining Hall.

“The show has such an array of vagina wisdom that I don’t think really gets talked about in other plays or in our society in general,” said actor Kiana Reeves, who plays The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy.

The Vagina Monologues, an Obie-award winning play, will be performed by UCSC women. Their performance seeks to open up discussion about female sexuality on a local sphere, while benefiting a larger cause. The play will donate 10 percent of its profits to V-Day, a global movement founded by “Vagina Monologues” playwright Eve Ensler, to end violence against women and girls.

The other portion of the play’s revenue will benefit the local organizations Defensa de Mujeres in Watsonville and the Survivors Healing Center in Santa Cruz, each of which provide women’s crisis support to rape and assault victims.

Jordan Menashe and Akiva Levi are co-directors of the production. “It’s a good show — it’s really entertaining, the girls are all talented, but it does something for the community,” Menashe said.

This year marks the eighth annual presentation of “Vagina Monologues” at UCSC, and the 11th anniversary of the play itself.

The “Vagina Monologues” crew is an all-female cast whose collaboration and enthusiasm for the production saturate the performance.

During a Sunday evening run-through, one cast member stood on stage waiting for lighting adjustments as another called to her “You look good!” The cohesive, supportive nature of the cast comes together in a comedic and evocative production. As the show ran through, cast members in the audience giggled at the puns, pleasures and humorous anecdotes performed onstage.

At opening night of the show on Friday, March 13, “vagina-pops” will be sold for audience members to snack on and information about sexual assault help will be available. “We have worked on the production process altogether for about a year,” said co-producer Sarah Steer. “All of the people on the cast are amazing.”

As characters of all ages and origin share stories of sexual woe and wonder, the show sends a message to audiences that fear of the unknown is all that keeps women — and humanity in general — from expressing openness and feeling comfortable with personal sexuality.

“I think we consider ourselves a liberal campus, but there are still these women who have issues with their gender roles and bodies,” Menashe said. “We’re lucky to have these talented women telling these stories.”

Spot the Hoo-Hoo:

Vagina Imagery In Advertising

by J. Barker

Vagina Image # 1: Suva

Porn for Terminators and Robocop

Okay, I understand that this ad is trying to make the top of the helmet look like the scary mask from the Scream movies.  And it succeeds.  It also succeeds in looking like a robot’s vagina.

Vagina Image # 2: Playboy

Yeah, big surprise.  Playboy Magazine.  Of course they’re not remotely trying to hide what their product is.

I find this ad quite clever in showing the way that hair styles have changed over the past three decades…

Vagina Image # 3: Tara Magazine

Vagina Image # 4: Anti-Rape Ad

My Spanish is insanely rusty (I remember how to say, “My pencil is yellow,” though I can’t remember how to write it…), but I think this is a “stop the violence/rape” ad from the  USAID, Red Nacional de Mujeres, and Union Europea.

If so, it works.  The image is evocative of something being ripped and torn, though why they chose the metallic color scheme is odd.  I could make a joke concerning Image # 1, but even I’m not that callous.

Vagina Image # 5: Energizer

The whole idea of this is to show how long Energizer batteries last.  If I recall, this brand wasn’t even around when batteries were that cheap.

It took me a moment to understand the gist of the ad; I was too distracted by the blatant “subliminal” use of the Hoo-Hoo.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never torn open a pack of batteries and left that shape.  Ever.

Vagina Image # 6: Act Up Paris

I think I dated her once…

Hmmm… What’s missing here?  I guess genetically engineering women with no Hoo-Hoo would be one solution to reducing the spread of AIDS.  A little extreme, perhaps?  Yeah.  I think so, too.

Vagina Image # 7: Dior

Um… yeah.  I dunno where to go here…  I’m even a little uncomfortable…

Vagina Image # 8: Lactacyd

Okay, so in this case we, the viewer, are the vagina.  Whoever came up with the idea to shoot a commercial for feminine hygiene products from the point-of-view of the Hoo-Hoo itself deserves an award.

Vagina Image # 9: Children of Chernobyl

This ad is designed to raise awareness for prenatal health control.  While I find it absolutely beautiful both in execution and design, I don’t quite understand the context.  We all know about what happened in the Chernobyl area after the nuclear accident.  But what does an apple-vagina have to do with it?

Perhaps some meta-text concerning how “the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree,” so move the hell away from Chernobyl?  Or a Christian reference to Eve and the Apple?  Or recommendations on what I should pick up at the market tomorrow?

I’m confused.

Vagina Image # 10: Pro-Choice/Anti-Abortion

C’mon, little fella. We won’t bite.

You can’t get more blatant than this.  Well, okay.  After some of the other ads above, maybe you can.

At least it doesn’t cross that line that some anti-abortion campaigns love to tinker with.  You know, the ones with the potentially crazy old lady carrying around a stick with bloodied baby limbs dangling from it?  If you’ve never seen that, you’re in for a treat.  They usually hang out downtown near the library.

I rather like this ad – though I’m not sure I like the sinister look on the kid’s face…

SOURCE: Ads of the World

John Barker
Clever Ads, Promotions and Marketing
InventorSpot.com

Triggering Automatic Female Lust

by Mike Pilinski

Contrary to what you see every week on ’Sex and the City’, women are the complete opposite of men in that, the more *anonymous* the sexual encounter, the LESS gratifying they find it to be.

Unlike the fictional uber-slut Miranda, satisfying sex does not begin and end with the quest to find someone new to have an orgasm with. For the vast majority of women, the MORE connected they feel to their partner, the more overwhelming the total sexual experience is for them.

Just the reverse of typical male thinking, right? Men are intensely turned on by the thought of having sex with a woman for that very FIRST time, or by scoring a one-night stand with a perfect stranger, or perhaps fantasizing about being in a porno movie and having wanton sex with dozens of hot women he hardly knows. The common link between all these scenarios is that there is NO emotional bonding involved. Hell, there’s hardly even an exchange of names! For the man, the more anonymous the sex the more *exciting* the idea of the conquest.

How the two genders make use of (and even exploit) this knowledge of each other’s romantic weakness, however, is an entirely DIFFERENT story.

Women know exactly how to turn men on by manipulating this hardwired ’quirk’ in their character that absolves them of the need to actually know anything about a woman who has triggered his desire to mate. How? Simply by pushing this uniquely male “anonymous sex” button long and often… by acting sexy AND remaining emotionally aloof at the same time. The stripper, the table dancer, the whore. The molten hot stranger. Any persona will do – and all are quite useful when their design is seduction!

Men, on the other hand, seem mostly clueless about how to turn the tables and pull off the same trick. In fact, the prevailing feeling is that female lust is such a mysterious and unfathomable ’holy grail’ so rarely encountered in real life that it’s taken on a kind of mythical quality. I guess some women just have it for certain men… and not for others, and there’s no understanding the reasons why.

But can female lust be triggered by the deliberate actions of a man? I say absolutely yes. Women get sexually turned on just as men do of course, but — owing to differences in reproductive biology — by a completely different set of mental processes. Men go for a VISUAL look that suggests youthfulness and thus fertility. But females aren’t interested in a man’s age so much because males remain virile well into the later part of their lifespan.

What they look for, instead, are signs of male POWER.

You see, women possess a deeply-rooted pre-intellectual *instinct* which compels them to submit themselves for copulation in the presence of what they sense to be a DOMINANT MALE. They cannot help feeling like this — despite the fact that the modern woman manages to suppress the urge to act on these feelings most of the time (but, not always…). So when a man learns how to project the most subtlest of gestures, actions and attitudes that suggest he’s a “dominant male”, he can force a woman’s subconscious mating desires to become aroused WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT.

And some of them won’t like it a bit. She may get upset because you’ve forced her to experience a potent feeling which she may feel compelled to conceal with the workings of her more rational mind. And yet when a woman consents to have sex with a man who has set off these automatic desires in her, she stands to enter into the hottest, most fulfilling sensual experience that it is possible for her to have. And she knows it.

…AND she’s also frightened of it — because once unleashed in this way, it can be difficult to stem the cascade of all-consuming passion. She risks taking the kind of social and romantic chance that only happens a precious few times in her life. Can she allow herself to become addicted to a man who can make her see stars?

By learning to adopt the actions and attitudes of the dominant male, it is possible to create these sort of emotional disturbances in women at will. Almost any girl that you can manage to talk to in a SPECIFIC sort of way can have her “lust triggers” ignited like a blow torch. And when the ability to seduce becomes more a skill than mere luck, your chances of suffering the humiliation of being rejected vanish too. Now you have done more than learned to act the part of a dominant male, you have *become* one. And truthfully, there’s no real difference.

Because in this game, acting is BEING.

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Jill Carrigan
309 Broadway Apt 1
Venice Ca 90291

jcarrigan001@aol.com
310-795-0192
founder of automatedman.com

nickname beth
former employer jaime@artisancreative
fraudulent resume fired in 2003 but still listed! as employed in 2009
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Wendy Shumaker
309 Broadway Apt 1
Venice Ca 90291

directthis@aol.com
310-779-8736
assistant to founder of automatedman.com

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Person of Interest due to additional confidential information:

Tina Carrigan
15 Essex Court
Eagleville, PA, 19403

chaoscontrolcoaching@gmail.com
formerly was tristartina@gmail.com
610-631-0825
215-630-3108

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What’s That About A Powerful Vagina?

Megan Fox, a favorite of ours around here, set, er, tongues wagging about her quote for Rolling Stone magazine about her “powerful vagina.” The comment was in context of Fox talking about how she learned to “harness her sexuality” which we now bring to you in full:

“What you do is harness your sexuality and use it to control your destiny…That’s what can can happen when a girl or woman is completely in charge of her sexuality and embraces the power of her vagina. It intimidates men – not all, but some. Men are scared of vaginas. And then when you give them a powerful, confident vagina, they’re terrified.”

That ethos is clearly on display in Fox’s new movie, Jennifer’s Body, in which a nubile high schooler transforms into a bloodthirsty vampire who lures in young boys through the power of her sexuality (read: vagina) and then KILLS THEM DEAD. As The Awl’s Melissa Lafsky writes in her excellent review:

Megan Fox’s body is, inherently, evil. She’s the Demon Pretty. That much Pretty has power over all of us—young, old, black, white, female and panting male alike. We’re helpless in the face of it. We pay it more money, give it better customer service, offer it more respect at dinner parties. Studies have proven it: that level of Pretty controls our minds. So of course it should show up as a murderous demon in a horror film.

It’s no wonder that men are scared of vaginas — particularly powerful, confident ones that will totally EAT YOU FOR LUNCH. The concept of that kind of hungry, voracious vagina is, of course, nothing new (hi, Sigmund Freud!) and it even has a fancy name: Vagina Dentata. It literally means “toothed vagina” (ouch!) and was the premise of the horror movie Teeth, which Lafsky succinctly describes as “teen loses control of the sexual beast within” – the poor protagonist has something quite literally monstrous lurking within her nether regions, which turns out rather unfortunately for several men in the film. Ah, horror. You’re so classy.

And speaking of classy: Apparently Top Shop seems to think that translates into a great fashion idea. Because I was walking by on Friday night, and lo and behold front at center was this fabulous fashion creation:

That’s, er, anatomically pretty on point. Though I think it would be way more badass with the mouth of a Great White Shark or something — what’s that, a bear? Those teeth aren’t even serrated, for God’s sake. Weak.

Anyhow, my point — and I do have one, and it’s not just to make “Hakuna Dentata” jokes (read your tags, mofos!) — my point is, as usual, that Megan Fox is a thought-leader and our coverage of her is totally, completely justified.

That’s all. In other news, boys…I’m available. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Update: Actually, that’s not it — here is the full, unabridged, 2-paragraph excerpt from Rolling Stone, so no one can say this post isn’t useful. Call it…cervix journalism. Haaaa. Oh come on, admit it, that’s a good one. Here’s the full quote:

“I was 12 when I first started getting a lot of stares and attention from grown men, and for a while I misused that power,” she says. “When you see 16-year-old girls in really short skirts and stripper heels and shirts that say WHITE TRASH WHORE on them – I was like that. But it’s not empowering. It’s the opposite. It’s taking power away from you. I was like Jennifer in the movie. She’s just so lost in her sexuality. What you do is harness your sexuality and use it to control your destiny. Like, if a conversation with a guy is going somewhere I don’t like, you can manipulate it and build a dynamic that causes that person to fear you sexually. You do it with men by making them feel small, and men usually feel small when they’re attracted to someone.”

“…And that’s what can happen when a girl or woman is completely in charge of her sexuality and embraces the power of her vagina. It intimidates men – not all, but some. Men are scared of vaginas. And then when you give them a powerful, confident vagina, they’re terrified. They don’t know how to deal with it. Look, I didn’t figure out something special out here. I wasn’t born with a special vagina. All vaginas are created equal. But as soon as you love your own, you’re good. You’re set.”

Unless you’re deaf and blind and terrified of the television, you’ve been made adequately aware of the prostitution ring scandal in which former New York governor Eliot Spitzer was embroiled this week. I say former New York governor, because as all you non-blind deaf television-phobes know, The Ass Bandit resigned yesterday. God knows the citizens of New York don’t want some jackass willing to drop eighty grand on pussy overseeing the state’s 2008 budget! (”Now, I see the ‘public education’ and ‘labor and workforce development’ allocations here, but where are the funds for the ’super hot pussy?’ Did I miss it?”) Anyway, what we’ve all been wanting to know — who was this mystery hooker “Kristen,” and what the hell could she possibly be doing that costs $4700 a night? Page Six reveals

Her real name is Ashley Alexandra Dupré, and according to her MySpace profile, she loves music and she looks up to her brother. The… 22-year-old singer fled “an abusive home” at the age of 17. In 2004 she arrived in New York City, where she says she spent two years trying to make it in the music biz.

“I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music,” the woman known as “Kristen” says on her MySpace profile. “I can honestly tell you to never dwell on the past, but build from it and keep moving forward,” she writes. She describes her song “What We Want” as being “about trust, something my past has made very difficult for me to feel,” and that it was “inspired by a guy, who taught me not to confuse my dreams with the sounds of the city.”

And just like that, I can guaran-damn-tee this dumb twat’s song will get radio play. After it makes the rounds on the gossip blogs and network television first, of course. Followed by several morning show interviews, a tell-all book, her own makeup and/or clothing line and possible made-for-TV movie. Because all it takes to break into the elite strata of celebritydom in these great United States is to suck off somebody rich or famous and get caught doing it. Even better if you make a tape of yourself doing it so you can sell it online and really saturate the market. Some people might try to tell you that diversifying your funds or investing overseas is the best way to secure your financial future, but I’m here to tell you your ticket to early retirement is actually hidden is some old white dude’s pants. The path to financial freedom is only a zipper away!

Feed the monkey and listen to her shitty song at Page Six or visit her MySpace here.